Some Say I'm Running
by Lynnlee22
Summary: Philly (As played by Gina Tognoni and Jason Thompson)
1. Chapter 1

**_Boston, MA_**

**_February 2021_**

"This went a little differently in my head." Greg smiled at her as they walked down the paved paths.

"No. It's absolutely perfect. This day, you, her …" She leaned down a bit to look at the sleeping face. "I couldn't have asked for anything more."

"Still," he smiled. "The whole point of the zoo was so that she could see the animals and well …" He laughed softly. "She's missing the whole show."

"There'll be others." The meaning behind the seemingly simple words suddenly resonated within her and she felt her eyes grow warm with tears. She turned towards him and let out a shaky breath. "She's gonna have so many others and I didn't know if …" Her throat closed up as she pushed the thought from her mind. "There were so many times that I was afraid she might never even make it to this point and even if she did, I wasn't sure what kind of life …"

"That's all over now." He stood behind her now, his hands covering hers as she still held the handles of the stroller. "She's going to be fine. That's what today is all about. You heard the doctors. The surgery couldn't have gone better."

"They really did say that, didn't they? I didn't dream it?"

"No. You didn't dream it." He knew this feeling well. It was something he'd dealt with time and time again, but this – this was different. This was personal. "No more surgeries. No more long hospital stays. No more sleepless nights. She gets to be a normal little girl now. She'll take some medicine and she'll go for checkups, but that's it."

"I know you probably think it sounds silly, but .."

"Not at all. I get it. And I feel it too. I was so terrified of what those doctors might say."

Phyllis hesitated. "You never told me that. You said everything would be fine." He'd been her rock, just as he had since the day she met him. She never would have made it through this if it hadn't been for him.

"I know what I said, but I was scared too. I was scared for her. I was scared for you, but I couldn't tell you that. You needed me and so did she and that was so much more important than anything I was feeling."

She sat down beside him on the bench, watching in wonderment as he gently tucked the blanket around the still sleeping little girl. "You're always taking care of me," she smiled.

"I always will. You and Libby are my whole life. From the day I met you, I knew. I knew there was something about you, something that I wanted to know, something that I needed to know. And when I promised you that I'd be there for you, I meant it. I meant it that day …" He reached for her hand and gently let his fingertips linger over the platinum weddings set. "I meant it on our wedding day, and I still mean it now. I thank God every day that I have the privilege of being a part of your life."

There were times, especially when he spoke to her like this, so sincere, so earnest, so unbelievably filled with love – in those moments she could almost believe that she could give everything to him. She could allow her mind to consider the prospect of forgetting the past and letting her heart open up fully and completely to the man in front of her, the man that had, by all rights, been nothing but amazing to her and to her daughter. And then, in another instant she would see it …

Out of the corner of her eye she saw them … They were probably in their 30's possibly a little younger, but it didn't matter. Age was of no matter to them. They didn't notice or care that they were one of the few groupings in the zoo without children. They didn't notice anything outside of each other. Their hands were clasped tightly together. Her head rested on his shoulder as they walked slowly, their steps in perfect synchrony.

And in those moments, she was reminded. No matter what Greg did. No matter how wonderful it was. No matter how many promises she made. No matter what she said. No matter how much she might care about him, maybe even love him, her heart would never been free to give.

**_Genoa City, WI_**

Jack looked up at the changing screen before turning back to face his brother. "And you're sure this is what you want? This is what you have to do?" It was some sort of cruel twist of irony that, just as he and his brother had finally made peace and, just as they had regained control of their family company, it was time to yet again, say goodbye.

"It's not even about want, Jack. It's just … this is what I need to do now. I can't keep going on like this. My life is never going to get any better around here and I can't keep dragging everyone else down with me. I keep thinking about they way I've been behaving the past few months, the things I've done."

"If you're talking about the thing with Phyllis …"

"It's not just that, Jack. We both agreed that that would have never happened if we'd been sober and less angry and … Still, sleeping with Phyllis again was … it wasn't just about drinking or anger if I'm being honest. It was about …"

Jack nodded. "You still …"

"I can't even go there, Jack. All I can say is that I've effectively ruined every good thing in my life. Sleeping with Phyllis and declaring it a drunken mistake made things worse with us and I didn't even think that was possible and then that whole thing just catapulted Victoria back into Cane's arms and now …"

"So what? This is you running from your life? This is you getting away from your problems instead of facing them and …"

"No. For once, this is me getting away to get myself back on track so that everyone else doesn't have to suffer while I flounder. My family doesn't deserve to be on this rollercoaster of hell with me. When I can find some semblance of peace, I'll come back. I'll come back when I'm good again, Jack. I'll come back when I can be good for everyone. I'm not abandoning anyone here. I'm still gonna see the kids. I'm still gonna check in. I'll still work remotely with the Jabot offices out of Boston. I just want be around for everyone to have a front row seat for the wreckage, that's all."

"Billy," Jack sighed. "Your family wants to help you. We can't do that when you're not here."

"It's like a bad wreck, Jack. You just can't look away, so I'm helping you out. I'm making it so you can't see it."

"Look, if this is really what you want, I'm not going to stand in your way, but are you sure this isn't more about …" Jack paused, realizing how sensitive this subject was. "I mean the timing of this move is …"

"You're wondering if this is about Delia." Billy nodded. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been thinking about it. She'd be 15 you know. She should be starting high school and begging me to take her to get her learner's permit. Instead she's gone and no matter how many people assure me that it wasn't my fault, I'll always believe it was. I need to go now, Jack. I need to be the person she could be proud of and that's exactly what I'm going to do."


	2. Chapter 2

"Did you get in touch with Johnny and Katie?"

Billy nodded. "Yeah. They were getting ready to watch a movie with Mattie and Charlie though, so they really weren't interested in talking to me."

"Those kids adore you," Jack assured him. "They'll always want to talk to you and ..."

"Jack. Jack. Just stop. Seriously." He held up his hand as he collapsed into the seat beside him. "You don't have to do that. My kids love me. I know that, but they're just like everybody else. They've moved on. I'm the only one that's spinning my wheels and wallowing."

"I don't think hurting is considered wallowing, Billy. You're having a hard time right now and the people that love you want to help."

"For how long, Jack? Do you realize that whole mess with Phyllis was over a year ago?" He saw the look of surprise on Jack's and watched as his brother instantly tried to recover. "You don't have to say anything. I know. It doesn't seem possible, does it? It seems like it was just a few weeks ago - months ago at most and do you know why that is? It's because nothing has changed, Jack. I'm still in the same miserable pit I was in over a year ago and it has to stop."

"There's no time limit on problems, Billy. Believe me, I've had my fair share of rough years - decades even and ..."

"I don't need you to make excuses for me. I've been pretty damn good at doing that myself. That's what this is about. I need to push restart on my life. I need to force myself to move on. Everyone else seems to be able to do it. Phyllis has managed. You've managed. Victoria has definitely managed." He saw Jack's mouth move. "And before you even start ... It's not going to happen. I had my chance there. It just doesn't work and I've finally realized that it doesn't work because it isn't supposed to. Victoria is happy with Cane. He's good to her and he's good with the kids. She's happy and so are they. That's all I've ever really wanted."

"And you don't think they could be happy with you? You don't think you deserve a shot at that kind of happiness?"

Billy shrugged. "I don't know if I know how to be happy anymore." He was silent for a moment, letting his mind drift to the parts of it he tried to keep closed off, the parts that too painful to allow entry. "Or maybe I do, it's just not possible anymore. Whatever it is, sitting around here and watching everyone else move on without me isn't helping anyone. I need to go find something of my own, something to give me meaning and purpose and ... life again."

"And that has to be in Boston?" Jack looked up at the board, the sight of the delays still giving him a ray of hope. "Maybe all these delays and cancellations are a sign. Maybe you're not supposed to leave to find your new life. Maybe your life is still here in Genoa City."

"It's time, Jack. Maybe not forever, but definitely for now."

* * *

She stroked the little girl's soft skin as she watched the slow, rhythmic rise and fall of her back. Today had been everything she'd hoped for, a dream that she'd been afraid to even verbalize for fear she was simply wishing for too much, but now - now it was true. Her sweet baby girl was going to be okay. The fear that and tension that had gripped her for the better part of a year could finally begin to subside. Sure, she would still worry. Every mother did, but she could worry normally now. She could worry about the silly things, the trivial things - not about the earth shattering, horrifying nightmarish scenarios that used to wake her up at night and send her rushing down the hall to stare into the crib just as she was doing now.

"_I've been reading a lot online about ..." _

"_Let me stop you there." He leaned forward a bit, his eyes warm and compassionate as he looked at her. "I know you feel helpless and I know that researching and looking for information is the only way you know to feel like you have any power over this situation, but I promise you, there's nothing the internet is going to give you right now that will resemble any kind of power. You're going to get on there and you're going to read all these stories about all these nightmare scenarios and you're going to get yourself all worked up." _

_She felt her body relax a little bit in spite of herself. The words the doctors had spoken only three days ago still echoed loudly in her head, but somehow these words were being heard above them all. He was right. Her research had done nothing but made her feel more anxious. "I just ... I want to know what to expect," she said softly. "I don't want to be caught off guard." _

"_That's the part of all this stuff that really sucks. We don't know what to expect and, if I'm being real with you and somehow, I think you're the type of person that wants me to be real ..." _

_She nodded. _

"_We might not know what to expect. Until that little girl is born, we likely won't know the full extent of the heart involvement. The only thing we know for sure is that there is some level of heart murmur. There is some level of ventricular defect. The severity of that defect will drastically impact the prognosis. In some situations, the surgery has to be immediate and often there must be more than one. In other situations, doctors take a wait and see approach and the best case scenario, the defect is mild enough to be handled with medication. We simply don't know." _

"_I hate that." Her voice quivered as she said the words. "I hate not knowing. I have feeling so damn helpless." She let her hand move over her slightly swollen abdomen. "And I feel like this is all my fault. I feel like all the stress and all the crap that I've done is ..." _

"_I can assure you that there is nothing that can connect anything ..." _

_Phyllis shook her head. "I'm not talking about actually cause and effect. I know that I didn't eat the wrong food or not get enough sleep. I'm talking about a deeper thing here, a more karmic sort of causal response." _

"_No one deserves this, Ms. Summers." _

"_Phyllis," she said softly, "Please call me Phyllis." _

"_Phyllis," he smiled. "So, Phyllis, is there anything else I can answer for you? I know this wasn't exactly what you were expecting, but Karen just had try cross country skiing now." His attempt at levity was greeted with a half hearted smile. _

"_You did great," she said quietly. "You actually made me feel a lot better and I'm going to try to remember what you said. Since we're not going to know, I'm just going to operate under the best case scenario for now. No point in assuming the worst, right?" _

"_I think that's a great idea. You have the office number, right?" _

_She nodded. _

"_You can call anytime. We've got the answering service here and they can get in touch with one of us any time you need us." _

_He watched as she walked from the room. _

"_So, how did it go?" The young woman at the receptionist desk looked up at him. "It's not cardiac case management, but the patient care aspect isn't all that different, is it?" _

"_I don't know." There was something about the woman his eyes still followed through the parking lot, something about the sadness in her eyes that just barely covered the spark and fire he could still see barely burning in the background. "It was good, but Karen's going to be back soon, right?" _

"_Uh oh," she giggled. "That bad?" _

"_Not bad," he said quickly. "I just ..." He jumped as he felt her presence beside him. The flushing in his face was obvious as he let his eyes drift up to meet hers. _

"_Oh," her voice rose and fell with obvious understanding. "You like her and the patient thing is a problem. I got news for you," she whispered, "the pregnant thing might be an issue too you know. Normally they come with a husband thing and ..." _

"_Oh stop." Greg waved his hand at her. "I'm not thinking that. I just feel for her. I want to help and she's ... there's just something about her ..." _

"Watching her sleep, huh?"

Phyllis jumped at the feel of his breath on her neck. "You know it can be a bit of a habit for me and, if I'm honest, it isn't one I'm interested in trying to break."

"Can't blame you there." Greg smiled as he stared into the crib watched Libby sleeping soundly. "The good news is there's going to be plenty of nights for us to watch her sleep, but ... this wine is only good to be good for tonight."

She turned around towards him, her lips curving into a smile as she saw his hands holding the bottle and two glasses. "You did this? You were waiting for me downstairs?"

"I was letting it breathe," he whispered, "but then it had been breathing long enough and I was missing you and ..."

Her lips pressed against his to stop his words.

"Wow," he managed finally as they broke. "What was that for?"

"I was just thinking," she softly responded, "about when we first met and about how wonderful you were to me then. You know I would have never made it through all this without you and even now, you still know exactly what I need."

He grinned. "I'm hoping that's me ... and Libby."

"Smart guy too," she grinned. "Why don't we go downstairs? We can put on a movie and have this delicious wine?"

He studied her face for a long moment as he let his fingertips trace her jawline. "You know what? Why don't we have it in here?" He gestured towards the crib. "She puts on a pretty good show herself."


	3. Chapter 3

"Can I get you anything, sir?" The flight attendant was young and pretty. She had an accent. Was it British? Australian? He wasn't sure and he didn't care enough to study her words.

"I'm fine, thank you." He watched her face for a moment, the wide smile suddenly deflating. He should feel bad, but he didn't. She'd be fine. She'd move on to another wealthy passenger soon enough. If she knew anything at all about him, she'd thank him. He was saving her a world of hurt and she didn't even realize it. This new life he was about to embark on should be exciting, but instead he was filled with a strange sort of dread. He didn't enjoy wallowing, but forgetting and moving on wasn't exactly a prospect he wanted to consider either. Even the painful thoughts of her were better than no memories at all.

_She wrapped the sheet around herself as she pulled her body away from him and sat up on the side of the bed. "I thought we were clear, Billy." _

_"Clear?" He sat up behind her, his body instinctively closing the distance between them. "The only thing that was clear to me here tonight is that this is something we both wanted. I didn't pressure you into anything here and …" _

_"I never said you did and I'm not saying that." The look in his eyes had the power to break her, but she couldn't let herself go there again. She'd given him so much of herself before that there had been nothing left when he'd gone and that simply couldn't happen again. "I did want this. I wanted you. I needed you tonight. This was … This was something we had to do. We couldn't keep going the way we were. It wasn't right." _

_"Because we can't stay away from each other. We couldn't before and we can't now. It's us." He let his fingertips trail up and down her bare back. "It's the way we are together." _

_"It's the way we were, Billy. Past tense. What we did to each other, what we're still doing, it's not right. It's not what love is supposed to be. We hurt each other in the worst ways and I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted that." _

_"I don't want to hurt you either and I know I did. And if that's what is about … if this is about what I did with …" _

_"Stop. Please." She looked up at him, her eyes begging him to not unearth the painful past again. "I don't want to talk about that. Not now. Not tonight. I think this is what we needed. I think tonight was about us being together and not letting it be about all the horrible things. Tonight was about what we used to be. It wasn't about being hateful to each other or resentful or vengeful. It wasn't about the things we've done or the lies we've told. It was just about the way we feel, what we could be." _

_"Why does that sound final?" He moved to look into her eyes, now sitting beside her as his hands cradled her face. "What are you trying to say to me?" _

_"This has to be goodbye, Billy." _

And it was. Even though he didn't really know it. She left his bed, his home and his life that night and without even so much as a text, she left Genoa City. She'd made Summer promise not to tell anyone where she'd settled and Summer had, for once, kept her word. It had been by pure happenstance that he'd seen the number flash across her cell phone as they all set at the breakfast table the other morning. Summer had been preoccupied by Jack's latest Jabot fashion proposal and she'd allowed the phone to click over to voicemail. The number caught his attention because of the area code he didn't recognize and he'd discreetly taken a snapshot and researched its origin later. Boston. An office that, when he called, turned out to be a thriving online news magazine that focused on lifestyle, fashion, and gossip.

He was still a betting man.

* * *

"Morning." Greg smiled as he entered the kitchen and watched Phyllis maneuver another spoonful of applesauce into Libby's squirming mouth. "Looks like you're already getting in your cardio this morning."

"Always," she grinned, pausing a moment to give him a quick kiss before turning back to make another attempt. "But I wouldn't have it any other way. She's actually managed to get almost as much in her mouth as she's wearing so I'm taking that as a win."

"I say we take the wins where we can get them right? We can't help it if we're messy eaters can we sweet girl?" He leaned down to plant a kiss on Libby's head. "She gets it honest."

"I'm not a …" She stopped herself, realizing the intent behind his words and suddenly feeling terrible for her own. "Oh," Her eyes met his. "I didn't … I mean …"

"It's alright." There were moments, like last night, where he could almost forget, where things seemed so perfect that he could allow himself to believe that they really were. They were the perfect little family, exactly what he always wanted.

"You know, in all the ways the matter, in all the ways that count, you're"

He shook his head. "I know. And believe me, she's my daughter. She always will be." He glanced back down at Libby who now used her tiny hand to spread the stray applesauce across the tray. "Maybe it's a nature versus nurture thing," he laughed.

"Got to be," Phyllis agreed.

"So, what's the plan for today. Don't you have to go into the office for a bit?"

"Yeah. But I think I might call the sitter since the weather isn't all that great and …" She saw the look in his eyes and took a breath to ready herself for the defense.

"She's not going to break, you know. You heard the doctors yesterday. She's going to be fine. She doesn't have any restrictions on her activities. It's good for her to get out, build up some resistance, get some fresh air, let Mommy see that the world isn't going to swallow her up. Besides, you know everyone at your office is dying to see her and you could stop by the coffee and get some lunch. Treat yourself. That's what the whole working at home thing is about right? Being able to spend time with Libby and still work and have balance and …"

"Okay. Okay. Okay." She let her face relax to show her good nature. "You win. I'll take her to the office and then we'll go get some lunch just to prove a point, but I reserve the right to stay home all weekend with her and snuggle on the couch."

He narrowed his eyes. "On one condition," he added. "I get to snuggle with you."

Phyllis leaned against him as she felt his arms surround her. "Deal," she whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

He ran his hand across the nape of his neck as he finally pulled the car to a stop. Never again would he curse Genoa City traffic. Boston streets were a whole other monster and the relief he felt from having finally escaped their grip was now tempered by the sight of the modern office building in front of him. He recognized it immediately from the picture on the website. The impressive, innovative structure and contemporary architectural style made it a bit of a unicorn among the historical downtown landscape. It seemed the perfect place for Phyllis. She'd always migrated towards the new, the vibrant, the outliers. That was why she'd been so drawn to him – why they'd been drawn to each other.

A few people walked in and out of the large glass doors and he wondered, silently, if he might see her, if she was, perhaps, inside those offices and if so, what she would do if he just showed up. Would she be happy to see him? Would she be angry? Would she throw him out? The questions compounded to the point of almost madness – until the air in the car felt so thick and heavy that he threw the door open as a lifeline.

It was then that he saw the small, friendly looking restaurant with the hand carved sign that read "Cuppa". It made him smile and he find himself walking towards the door, the immediate warmth of the room enveloping him. The smell of coffee and pastries was intoxicating and he watched as a few waitresses passed by with plates filled with sandwiches and soups. A few patrons sat at a high top drinking out of large mugs and chatting with the smiling staff. Billy followed suit and took a seat on one of the open stools. He pulled out his phone and opened its browser, the page defaulting to its last searched site, Phyllis' face featured prominently with her byline.

"Can I get you something?"

Billy looked up at the sound of the voice. "Uh, coffee's fine. Black."

She smiled. "You must be new here."

"Why? Is the coffee bad?" He couldn't help but smile at her quick, but accurate assessment.

"No. It's great. It's just … none of the locals order black coffee." She glanced down at the phone that now sat face up on the bar. "Are you here for the interviews?"

Billy's eyes widened. "The interviews?"

"Oh." She took a step back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. I just saw the website and I thought … I know they've been advertising the positions pretty heavily and you … kind of look like the executive type." She smiled to try and smooth over the potentially awkward conversation. "It's supposed to be a really great place to work."

"Actually." There was no reason to lie to her, he thought to himself. "I didn't even know they were hiring. I was just reading this column because I know the writer and …"

"You know Phyllis?" She smiled brightly and passed him the steaming cup of coffee.

"Yeah. I do. She's uh … Her daughter is married to my nephew. Summer…" He waited and watched for her reaction. More information would need to depend on what, if anything, Phyllis had actually revealed about him.

"Right. Summer. She talks a lot about her. You must be from Genoa City, right? That's where she said she's from. She misses her daughter a lot."

"I'm sure she does. Summer misses her too. They were really close. It was tough for her to leave. I actually came here to check on our offices in town. I work for Jabot and I was hoping maybe to run into her, but I wasn't sure if she was still in town or not. I know she used to travel a good bit and …" He let the question hang in the air and waited to see if she'd volunteer the information.

"Oh, she doesn't travel too much anymore. She's settled down a lot, but I do think she's working from home pretty much all the time now except when she had to go into the office for meetings. It's a shame really. You just missed her, probably be a little over an hour. She stopped by to get some coffee with Libby. She was on her way into the office for a meeting this morning."

"The office just over there?" He tried to sound nonchalant though his heart began to pound.

"Yeah." She glanced over his shoulder at the large clock on the wall. "She might still be there if you hurry."

He reached into his pocket and grabbed for some cash, paying no attention to the amount. "Keep the change," he muttered as he tossed it onto the bar top and moved towards the door.

"You don't … This is way too …" She stared down at the nearly $90 that now lay crumpled in front of her. This was the most expensive cup of coffee she'd ever served.

* * *

"I do miss you all." Phyllis pulled the older woman into a hug as she tucked the blanket tighter around Libby, "but I just can't leave this little one just yet. Maybe once she gets a little bit older, I'll think about being able to come back a few days a week, but for right now, working from home just feels right."

"I completely understand especially with everything you and Greg went through. It must feel like an absolute gift to have her healthy and home with you. You're doing the right thing. This time goes by so fast as it is. You should soak up every single second you can. Believe me. Just yesterday my babies were this little and I just sent my youngest off to college in August."

"Ugh. Don't even say it," Phyllis cringed. "I feel like this is my chance to do everything differently, to do it right this time and I don't want to miss a single second."

"You won't," she smiled. "And believe me, we'll all be here when you're ready to come back. We're not about to lose you. You take as much time as you need with that sweet girl."

"I can't thank you enough for being so understanding. I'll keep you updated and if you need me to come in for meetings, just let me know."

"You're welcome and I certainly …" She stopped as the sound of her intercom interrupted them. "Yes? She is. Okay. I'll tell her." She placed the phone back onto the base before turning to face Phyllis again. "Mark wants to know if you can stop by HR before you leave to sign a couple of papers. You can leave Libby here with me if you want."

"Thanks," Phyllis smiled. "I know she's fine, but I don't like parading her around through lots of people just yet. Call it overprotective or …"

"It's called being a mom and you're a good one." She watched with a smile as Phyllis left the room.

She pulled the door of her office closed as the phone slipped from her hand. She leaned down to pick it up, her body stilling as she heard the footsteps behind her. "Mark," she said quickly. "I was just on my way to your office."

"It's not Mark." His voice was soft as he focused on her face, the time that had passed between their last meeting vanishing in that instant. Any doubt he'd had about his feelings, any questions he'd entertained about his feelings were gone. He was as in love with her as he'd ever been. He missed her just as much – if not more – as he ever had. He just needed to know if she felt the same.


	5. Chapter 5

"Billy." It was the only thing she could think of to say even as a million other thoughts screamed inside her head. _Why was he here? What had he heard? Who had he talked to? How did he find her? Did he know?_

"You okay?"

The touch of his hand was like sheer electricity and she straightened immediately, the simple gesture somehow jolting her back into the reality.

"I'm fine," she muttered, forcing a small smile. "I just, I wasn't expecting to see you here. I ..." She faltered again, the words failing her. "What are you doing here? In Boston? At my office ... at ..." The thought suddenly occurred to her and she blanched. "You're not here to interview are you?"

A quick puff of air left his lips. "Is that your subtle way of telling me not to list you as a reference?"

Dread washed over her. "I ... I just ..."

"Relax." He flashed a warm smile at her, no longer able to stand the almost tortured look that played across her face. "I'm not here to interview for any job. I didn't even know there was a job. I was here on business for Jabot. We have a boutique here now, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I've seen it. It's doing well. Always seems busy." The words made her cringe inside. This was small talk. It was what you did with the stranger on public transport that you secretly hoped would be getting off at the next stop. It wasn't what she ever thought she'd be doing with him. "I'm sorry," she said softly, "about before. I didn't mean to seem like your working here would be horrible or anything. You just caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting to walk out here and see you. I was on my way to talk to Mark in HR and then ... there you were."

"Yeah. Here I am."

Though he would have never thought it possible, he was almost certain she'd gotten even more beautiful in time since he'd seen her. It had been over a year and sometimes it felt like an eternity. Other times, times like now, it felt as if nothing had changed. He wanted her as much as he ever had and all in the world he could think about was ...

"Well," she breathed, "I should probably get down to HR. Mark's got some papers I need to sign and ..." She waved her hand towards the hallway. It was obvious when he noticed, when his eyes locked into the sparkling platinum set. She quickly lowered her hand to her side, and avoided his eyes. The pain she instinctively knew she'd see there would be too much.

"You're married?" It was somewhere between disbelief and agony. Dread and despair all melded into one harrowing empty tone.

"It was kind of a quick thing," she said honestly. "We didn't really invite ..."

"Congratulations." He was thankful to even get the word out. "I didn't know. Summer never mentioned that and ..."

"I asked her not." She could see the hurt in his eyes at the revelation and she felt the need to explain. "I just thought maybe it would be better if we weren't involved in each other's lives anymore."

"Right. Well, I guess that won't be too hard, right? We live in different cities. There's nothing tying us together."

The utterance of the words felt like a knife to her heart and right then and there every reason she'd had for keeping this secret seemed to vanish. She opened her mouth to speak again unsure of what to say but knowing now that she had to say something.

His deep, gentle voice beat her to the punch. "But I don't know if I can ever be okay with that if I'm being honest. Seeing you now, I realize how much I've missed having you in my life and Im not just talking about us being together as a couple. I mean when we were friends, when we were there for each other, when we were the each other's sounding boards. I don't about you, but I've had some times lately where I could have used one of those."

"Yeah, me too."

"So, I don't know maybe we can keep in touch. Call sometimes, email. I know it sounds kind of weird and more than a little cliche, but we could be friends, couldn't we?"

She laughed softly. "What? It's not that ridiculous, is it?"

It was amazing to her how, even in the midst of a potentially disastrous situation, he could still break down her defenses so easily. "No. It's ... I was thinking about the last time we decided that we'd be friends. We were sharing a cookie at Crimson Lights and, if memory serves, we were sleeping together in about six weeks. I'm not sure we're very good at being friends."

"Well, to be fair, you weren't wearing one of those then." He gestured to the wedding set on her hand.

"No." She let her eyes fall to her hand. "Not that time I wasn't."

He caught the meaning in her tone and took an instinctive step back. "Look if you don't think ..."

"No. It's not that." She couldn't help but smile as she looked into his sincere eyes. "I've missed talking to you too and I'd like to try and see if we can make some sort of ..." She took a breath. "I feel like we should probably talk about what's going on with you too though because ..." She stopped short as she watched the door of the office open.

"Well, I owe you an apology," the woman whispered into Libby's ear before kissing her face. "She kept whining and leaning towards the door like she heard you out here but I kept telling her that you were in HR." She cooed at the little girl again. "Didn't I, Libby? Your Mommy's trying to make a liar out of me."

Phyllis reached out and eagerly took her daughter into her arms. "I'm so sorry," she said quickly. "I got caught up talking to my friend here and I never actually made it down to HR, but I can take her with me and ..."

"Actually, Mark just buzzed in to see if you were still here. He had to run out to take care of a situation. He said he'll just fax you the papers if that's ok."

"Sure that's fine." She shifted her weight nervously, mindful of Billy's pensive stare. "I'll be on the lookout for them"

"Great. It was so good to see you." She pulled her in for another quick hug. "And you tell Greg to just let me know when the two of you are up for that dinner. You can come over to the house and bring this sweet thing with you. Preston and I would love it."

"Will do." Phyllis nodded and watched as the woman headed back into the office. She knew the silence was only temporary and, as she raised her eyes to look st him, she was surprised to see him smiling down at Libby.

"She's beautiful, Phyllis."

"She's perfect. She's the most important thing in my life." Libby smiled brightly, as if she somehow knew she was being discussed.

"It makes sense now."

The words made her heart drop and her eyes widened as she fought for breath. Her only hope was that her expression didn't betray as her voice almost certainly would.

"What does?" she somehow managed.

"Why the wedding was so quick, why you didn't worry about inviting anyone or having everything just so. Once you have a baby on the way, the little things just don't matter as much."

"Yeah, that's true." She shifted Libby on her side. "You know, she's getting kind of fussy. I should really go make her a bottle and ..."

"Why don't we walk over to that little coffee place across the way. I was in there earlier. It seems nice. We could catch up and you could feed Libby and ..."

No was the only reasonable answer. Rational thought dictated that this was a horrible idea. She needed to go home, to talk to Greg, to tell him the whole story, the parts he didn't know, the parts she'd never been willing to tell him because it hurt too much, but instead she found herself nodding and following him across the street and through the door. Because the truth was - she'd missed him too.


	6. Chapter 6

"This is a really nice place." Billy smiled at the woman behind the bar as she caught his eye and lifted her hand in greeting at Phyllis. The sight of another waitress approaching their table gave him a twinge of relief. The last thing he needed was for Phyllis to find out he'd been getting tips on her whereabouts from locals. A stalker was one name she hadn't called him - yet.

The waitress sat the simple menus down on the table with a friendly smile. "I'll let you two get settled and I'll be back to get your drink orders in a second," she chirped before rushing off towards a man in a business suit who was waving a check in the air.

"Poor thing looks like she's got her hands full," Billy muttered as he surveyed the busy dining room. He turned towards Phyllis, finally registering the fact that she'd barely said a word since they'd walked in. She wrestled with the large, overflowing diaper bag, the high chair cover, and balancing Libby as she struggled to adjust in her own chair.

"Sorry," he muttered, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment. "You kind of have your hands full too, don't you? Let me help you with that." He saw the smile he'd missed so much flash across her face as he reached out his hand towards her.

She expected him to grab the diaper bag or steady the high chair or even attempt to untangle the wayward cover, but instead she found Libby being lifted from her arms before she had a chance to object.

"I'll take her," he said softly, his face immediately beaming as he stared down into the baby's wide brown eyes.

"Oh, you don't have to ... She's not really that great with str..." She stopped herself, noting Libby's complete and utter contentment. When she'd taken her to visit Greg's sister, Libby's howls and screams had been able to be heard from down the driveway as Greg had tried to let his sister keep her for a few hours so they could have a quick dinner out. It had taken nearly five hours for her to warm up to the babysitter and even still, they often had to sneak out of the house with tense shoulders and tightened jaws until the were safely in the confines of their car.

But this ... This was completely different. It was almost like she knew, like she sensed this was no stranger, like she knew and has always known this was someone that would have or rather should have been a part of her life. And now here he was, holding her in his arms and the sight of it was just ...

"Phyllis? Phyllis?" She jumped at the feeling of his hand on hers.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you." He pointed towards the waitress who now looked down at her with slightly concerned eyes. "She asked if you knew what you wanted to drink?"

"Oh," Her face burned with embarrassment as she met the waitress' gaze. "My mind was somewhere else," she mused, hopeful Billy wouldn't ask where. "Hot tea, decaf and some steaming water and a towel so I can warm a bottle if you don't mind." With a quick smile a nod, she was gone.

"Decaf?" Billy smirked at her. "I never thought I'd see the day where Phyllis Summers ordered ..." His eyes fell to the ring on her finger. "Well," his tone changed slightly, and she thought his mood did too. "I guess it's not Summers anymore, is it?"

"Actually, yeah. I kept my name. I figured it would be easier with the paper and the columns. When you're building a name for yourself in journalism, the last thing you want to do is to have to start all over, right? Besides, it's not the name that matters and Greg knows that so ..." She could feel the awkwardness building and she shifted slightly in her seat. Libby had finally started to squirm and her arms stretched out to her, her tony voice finally making the tiniest vocalizations of distress.

"I think she wants her mom." He couldn't help but smile as he watched Phyllis cradle the little girl in her arms. The waitress arrived soon after with their drinks and Libby eagerly took the bottle before drifting off to sleep. He waited until she'd settled her into the carrier before starting the conversation in earnest. "So I guess you have to be wondering how it is that I showed up at your office today, huh?"

"The thought did cross my mind, but I know you said Jabot has a store here, so ..."

"And they do. That isn't a lie, but I could have sent someone else here to check on it. That's the kind of thing an assistant can do. I came here because I knew this was where you were."

"Summer told you where I was working?"

"Not exactly." He hesitated before continuing. "You called her one day and she'd left her phone out. I wrote down the number and called it. Once I had the name of the place, I was able to do some research and ..." He studied her face. "Are you angry?"

"More confused," she admitted. "I don't really get why you came here. After everything that happened between us, we both needed a clean break. Continuing to hurt each other again and again was just cruel and it had to stop. I knew the only way to do that was to leave and that's what I did. It was the best thing for both of us. I could move on and start over somewhere new and you and Victoria could work on rebuilding things with your kids and ..."

He shook his head. "That's not going to happen."

"You say that now, Billy, but you and Victoria are ..."

"There is no me and Victoria. It's Victoria and Cane now. They're a thing ... a real thing. They're living together and it's real. It's happening and, to be honest with you, even if it wasn't, it still wouldn't have worked. It wasn't what I wanted ... not anymore."

"So what do you want, Billy?" It was a hell of a question to ask and yet it was one she'd wanted to scream at him a thousand times over. It was the question she'd never quite been able to get an answer to and she'd always figured it to be because he didn't know the answer himself.

"That's why I'm here I think," he sighed. He looked down at Libby who still slept peacefully in her carrier. "I look at her and I see you with her and you look right. It looks right and it might just be the time of year or me just being ..."

She let her eyes close for a moment as it hit her. "Oh Billy," The words were a mere whisper as they left her lips. "Delia. This is her birthday, right? I'm so sorry. I wasn't even thinking."

"Don't apologize. There's no reason you would be thinking. It's been years now. I should be moving. I shouldn't still be obsessing over this. I shouldn't still be here spinning my wheels. I should have my life together now, a life she'd be proud of. And instead Im just sitting around here thinking that I should be teaching her how to drive and warning her off boys and helping her with high school math and ..."

His voice broke and she couldn't stop the need to comfort him. Before she knew it her arms were around him and she simply stayed that way, holding him, not wanting to let him go. They might have stayed like that forever were it not for the sound of the familiar voice behind her.

"Honey?"

Phyllis pulled away, her hands falling back by her side as she sat up straight in her chair and looked up into the eyes of her husband. "Greg," she said softly, "What are you doing here?"

His voice wasn't at all angry. It was, instead calm and compassionate as always which made her feel worse still. "I decided to take a chance and see if you and Libby might have stopped in here for lunch. I thought I'd join you so you two didn't have to eat alone. I know how much you hate that, but it looks like somebody else beat me to it."

"Right, well, this is .." She stammered, tripping over every word until finally, mercifully, Billy stood and extended his hand.

"I'm Billy," he said with a friendly smile. "Billy Abbott."


	7. Chapter 7

"Ice water will be fine." Greg smiled at the waitress as he took a seat at the table and turned back toward towards them. "Sorry about that," he muttered before extending his hand again. "I'm Greg, Phyllis' husband. You said your name was Billy? Is that right?"

Husband. Even the word was like a punch to the gut, but he somehow managed a polite nod and smile. "Yeah, that's right. Billy Abbott. I'm a …" He glanced towards Phyllis for a mere second and saw her widened eyes, "an old friend of Phyllis' from Genoa City. Her daughter just married my brother, so we're kind of sort of …"

"Oh, Summer, right? I haven't been able to meet her yet, but I'm looking forward to it." He reached for Phyllis' hand across the table. "And I know she wants to meet Libby too."

"Of course she does." She finally managed to find her words as she reached over to straighten the bib she placed on Libby. "It's just been a little crazy with everything that's been going on, you know, but we're going to try to work something out really soon. Summer can't wait to come to Boston."

"So you're not coming back to Genoa City then." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. He could see the look of surprise in her eyes as she studied his reaction. "I mean, I just thought … you might want to see your friends and …"

"I … I mean, I didn't really … I don't know. Maybe. We'll have to see." She looked over at Greg and forced a nervous smile.

"I wouldn't mind seeing Genoa City. I've heard a lot about it, but there's still a lot of gaps I'd like to fill in."

Libby's shrill cry put an abrupt end to the conversation.

"I hope they hurry with our drinks. She's getting restless and if I don't get this bottle warmed up…" Libby howled again, her cries now gaining the attention of several other patrons in the restaurant. Phyllis glanced around the crowded bar. "I always forget how crazy it gets in here around lunchtime. Maybe this wasn't the best idea." She glanced towards Greg before looking back at Billy. "Are you going to be in town a while? Maybe we could set something up another time? I could get a sitter for Libby and …"

As much as he hated to watch her go, the thought of turning down another possible meeting wasn't an option. "Yeah, I'll be her a couple of weeks." He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a pen, scribbling a few words on cocktail napkin that lay on the table in front of him. "This is where I'm staying. And of course you can call me on my cell." He wrote down the numbers and watched as she started to stop him. He said nothing, but smiled softly, knowing what she was about to do. Her number was still in his phone too.

"I'm so sorry," she said quickly as she gathered Libby in her arms, "but if I don't get her out of her now, this is about to get so much worse."

Greg nodded. "She really does have quite the set of lungs on her."

Billy smiled. "She gets it honest, right? You've never been one to hide your emotions, have you?" He couldn't help but watch her, even now as her cheeks flushed with stress and frenzy. She was still every bit as beautiful as he remembered and he had to force himself not to reach for her arm and usher her back to the table as she turned to move towards the door. "So, uh, I'll talk to you soon then?" His voice rose with a hopeful tone as he shielded his eyes and held the door open for her and Greg to step through.

"Yes. Yeah, I'll call you. We'll do dinner. We'll check our calendar." She gestured to Greg who nodded in the affirmative.

"I look forward to it," he said again, nodding politely as they moved towards the car.

"Great. I'll see you then." He watched as the door swung closed behind them. Greg's arm wrapped comfortably around her shoulders as he protectively maneuvered her through the busy parking structure.

He stepped up to the bar thankful to find an empty spot. He waved to the familiar face and smiled as the woman stepped over to him.

"I see you found her." The woman's voice was slightly harried as she let out a bedraggled sigh and placed wiped the rag across the bar in front of him. "Did the two of you catch up?"

"You could say that. She's certainly been busy since the last time I saw her." He tried to keep his tone neutral, but his eyes didn't lie.

"I kind of thought so," she said knowingly.

"Thought what?" he asked as he settled onto a stool. "Oh, I uh … the waitress that was taking care of us over there, she should probably know we're done now." He shrugged.

"I'll take care of that," she said softly. "You look like you could use someone to talk to right about now and even though this is a coffee bar, bartenders are bartenders and we have a reputation to uphold." She grinned. "So, how did it end?"

"How did what end?"

"You and Phyllis?" She laughed as she saw his eyes widen and narrow in quick succession.

"I never said there was a me and Phyllis. I know Phyllis from working at Jabot and from her daughter and …"

"You know, I get why people lie to their friends or their families or their significant others, but why lie to a perfect stranger? I mean really …"

He shrugged. She had a point. "Alright," he sighed. "It was kind of an ugly thing honestly, but I never really … I still …"

"Yeah. That's pretty obvious, so is that why you came here? To find her and tell her that?"

"No." The answer came quickly. "I didn't come here to mess anything up for her. What happened between us happened a long, long time ago. We haven't been together for a long long time. I'm happy if she's happy. I just needed to see it for myself, you know? I needed to make sure that she had everything she wanted, everything she needed. I needed to see for myself that she was really, truly happy and then I guess I can try to find that kind of happiness for myself if that's even possible."

He swallowed hard before continuing. "You see her a lot, right? So do you think she's happy with uh … Greg is it?"

"Greg's a good guy and he was there for her the whole time with Libby."

"Libby. Yeah, that was a surprise. I had no idea that she'd had a baby. He seems like a good guy and I'm glad he is. I guess I just wanted to make sure that they didn't get married because she got pregnant or something like that …"

"Oh no, it was nothing like because she was already …" She stopped, looking down at the bar again and focusing on some imaginary stain that she now began to furiously clean.

Billy stilled. "What?"

"Nothing." She looked up at him again. "It's nothing. It's just … Look, I don't want you to take anything away from this or anything because Greg really is a good buy and he really does love her, so this doesn't mean anything, okay?"

"What doesn't mean anything?"

She glanced around and leaned in towards him, lowering her voice before finally speaking again. "Listen, this really isn't my place to say anything but Phyllis was already pregnant before she and Greg met."

"So Greg isn't Libby's father?"

"No. Greg works as a case manager for one of the hospitals and they met there."

"How long have they even been married then? I mean Libby's what three months old maybe?"

"Libby? No, she's …" She stopped and made some quick mental calculations. "Gosh, she's got to be close to seven months now. She's just small because she's been in and out of the hospital so much."

"Hospital? What happened to her?"

"I don't know the specifics but she was born with some sort of heart problem and she's had all sorts of surgeries, but this most recent one actually repaired the problem so she's in the clear now. I know they were so relieved and now she's going to be fine."

Relief flooded his body for the baby girl he'd met mere minutes ago. "Thank God," he whispered. His thoughts were only clouded for a moment before the words she'd said moments ago began to seep back into his brain. "You said Libby was almost seven months old now?"

"Yeah. That's got to be about right. She was born in August, but I think she came a little early. The may have planned it that way though because I know they already knew about the heart issue before she was …" She let her words trail off when she saw the faraway look in his eyes. "You okay?" she said softly.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine. I just … uh … I didn't realize Phyllis had been through so much since she'd left town, that's all." His throat was dry as he said the words. His mind was filled with possibilities as he tried desperately to think back to the events that had occurred over the past year. It was possible. It was definitely possible. "I need to take care of some things." He reached into his jacket for his wallet.

"It's fine," she said quickly. "You're all paid up from earlier and besides, I'm expecting to see you back in here before long."

He nodded back at her as he stood up and turned towards the door. "Yeah," he said quickly. "It's looking more and more like I might be around for a while."


	8. Chapter 8

Greg held the door open as Phyllis stepped inside. "Why don't you go ahead and go feed her and I'll get the salads ready." He set the large bag of takeout lunch containers on the table as he tried to avoid her gaze.

"Okay." Libby fussed in her arms as she held her. The tension that gripped her body was obviously being felt by her daughter as well. "She'll probably go down for a nap too so we might actually be able to eat without a guest." She forced her lips into a taut smile before heading upstairs. "It's okay, baby," she whispered as she struggled to soothe her. The door closed softly behind as they stepped into the nursery as she finally felt free to let her own tears fall. "I know," she sighed. "I miss him too."

* * *

Between the traffic and his own distraction, it was nothing short of a miracle that he'd made it to his hotel in tact. Now, as he sat staring at the computer screen in front of him, he tried to formulate some sort of plan. His entire body yearned to simply stand up, the scribbled address now clenched in his hand, and race out of the room. He wanted to go find Phyllis, find his daughter, and let them know how much he'd missed them even without knowing they were his to miss. He needed to tell her that not a day had gone by without thinking of her, that if he'd known, that if he'd had any idea at all, nothing and no one would have been able to keep him away.

But doing that, rushing into her home, into her life and ripping everything apart … how fair was that? How loving was that? He'd hurt her so deeply. That pain had been the reason she'd left Genoa City in the first place and the memory of those wounds had no doubt played a large part in her decision to keep him in the dark about all of this. Every bit of information seemed to lead to even more questions and he needed the answers. Knowing that she'd been through all of this without him broke him a way he couldn't even completely process and while there was a part of him that was grateful she hadn't been alone, there was another part of him that felt impossibly protective of them. Greg wasn't supposed to be the one. They weren't his family. He couldn't fathom living one more day without his daughter in his life. She was a part of him and so was Phyllis.

The best part. And one way or another, he had to find a way to bring them home.

* * *

Her footsteps were hesitant as she moved into the kitchen and sat the baby monitor on the table. "This looks great," she said with a smile. "Thanks for getting everything ready."

"Not a problem." He still stood with his back to her busying himself with the disposal of trash.

"Sorry it took so long. You've probably got to get back to work now, don't you?" She was surprised to see him finally look at her then, his eyes widening a bit.

"Is that what you were hoping?"

"What?" She took a step towards him. "Of course not. Why would you say that?"

He shook his head before reaching for her hand. "I just … You were so quiet on the ride home. It's obvious you weren't exactly anxious to talk about what happened at Cuppa."

"It's not that. I just … I was trying to keep Libby from pitching an absolute fit. You know how she can get and that makes for a miserable car ride for everyone and …" She watched as his eyes continued to narrow.

"Phyllis. I know better than that. You were taking care of Libby, but you were doing it to keep from talking to me, not because you thought you had to. We've both endured Libby's fits before. We could have done it again."

She sighed. "I just didn't feel like it was the time to … I guess I thought …" She stopped. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I was trying to avoid you."

"It's okay," he said softly as he brushed the hair behind her ear. "I called the office and double checked my calendar. I don't have anything else scheduled for today, so I'm just going to take the rest of the day. Start the weekend early. It'll be nice."

"That's great," she beamed as she sat down and began to dig into the salad. "Maybe after Libby wakes up we can go out to the park for a little bit. It's a little bit warmer out there this afternoon and …"

"I think we need to talk about some things first." He waited to see the acceptance on her face. She nodded silently. "That's him isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Are you really going to try this? With me, Phyllis? You know what I'm talking about? The man? The one you've never wanted to tell me anything about? Libby's father. It's Billy, isn't it?"

And there it was – said out loud. The truth. The facts. The part of her life she'd tried so hard to put in the back of her mind, not because she wanted to forget but because it hurt too much to remember. "How did you know?" she managed to whisper. "How could you tell?"

The pain on her face made any anger impossible and he simply wanted to somehow make it easier. "His face. His eyes. It's Libby through and through, but more than that …" He looked at her for a long moment before continuing. "It was the look on your face. You were always honest with me about how you felt. You always told me that Libby's father was someone you would always love and today, when I looked at you, that's exactly what I saw."


	9. Chapter 9

"Greg." She let the fork fall from her hand as she watched him slowly sit down across from her. "I .."

"Wait." He held up his hand, stopping her words. "Just let me say this. I'm not angry. I'm not. I mean that. You always told me the truth. You always said that you loved Libby's father and you never wanted to talk about it. I always figured it was because he had hurt you so much but now I think maybe it was because it hurt you too much to think about it."

"Greg, I don't want you to think that this changes things for us because …"

He let out a loud breath. "How could it not, Phyllis? He's Libby's father and he's a man that you … that you clearly still love and …"

"It doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't love our life. You have been here for me and for Libby and if you hadn't been here, there's no way I could have gotten through this last year. You've been everything to me, to both of us … I'll never be able to tell you how much you mean to me, how much our life means to me."

"You don't have to do that. I know that you appreciate everything I've done, but I don't want your gratitude, Phyllis. I want you to look at me the way you looked at him. Just once."

"I do, Greg. I love you. I do love you. And Libby loves you. You're the only father she's ever known and …"

"But I'm not her father, am I?"

"I …" Her heart broke as she saw the pain on his face. Greg loved Libby with his whole heart and he wouldn't have possibly loved her more if she had been his biological child. She knew, more than anyone how much this was hurting him and she wanted to make it stop yet she had no idea how. "What do you want me to say?" She reached across the table and touched his hand, sighing in relief when he didn't pull away. "I'm not going to lie to you. You deserve better than that. Do I still love Billy? Yes. Of course I do. I will probably always love him. He gave me Libby and he and I never really got the chance to end things the way we should have, but that doesn't mean that what you and I have is any less real. It doesn't mean that I can't care about you and want this life with you and it certainly doesn't mean that Libby doesn't love you and think of you as her Daddy."

She saw the deep lines of his brow soften as he let her words sink in. "What Billy and I had was ages ago and no matter how I feel, there was a reason it didn't work. We had a lot of really big problems and a lot of things happened between us, things you don't just chat about over coffee and forget. We hurt each other horribly and it didn't work but you and I … it clicked immediately. It was so easy and it's always been that way. I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose us. Please tell me that you believe that."

He took a deep breath, before gently letting his hands squeeze hers. "I believe that you love me and I believe that you love this family, but I don't believe you can live with yourself and just keep things the way they are."

The thought of it made her sick inside and she forced herself to look him in the eye. "If you're asking if I feel like he should know the truth about Libby, yeah, I do and I need to tell him, but that doesn't have to change the …"

His voice interrupted her again.

"To be honest with you, I don't know that I could live with it either. You and Libby are my whole world and the selfish part of me wants to pull the two of you in even tighter and never let you go, but the other part, the bigger part, the part of me that knows better … I just can't do that. I can't keep that sweet, beautiful little girl from the man that's partly responsible for giving her life."

She blinked. "You mean … you're okay with it. You're okay with my telling him the truth."

"I have to be," he said after a quiet moment. "It's the right thing to do. Billy deserves the chance to be a father and you deserve the chance to have some closure with him."

"That's not what this is about Greg. This isn't about me and Billy. This is about Libby and it's only about Libby. I love you. My life is here in this house with you. I will tell Billy the truth about Libby and he can be involved in her life, but at the end of the day, Libby and I are coming back here to this house to live here with you."

She stood and walked over to him, standing beside the chair on trembling legs as he stood up to alongside her. His arms wrapped around her tightly as he pulled her body against his. "I love you," he whispered, "and we'll get through this … together."

* * *

Billy glanced back at the hotel room door. He hadn't called for room service even after having left the bar before eating lunch. His stomach had been in knots all day and the thought of food was still the last thing on his mind. Barring a room number error, he had no idea why anyone would be knocking on his door.

Unless …

His heartbeat immediately quickened and his body almost propelled form the chair as he made quick work of the space between the computer and the door. The sight of her standing there with the baby he now knew to be his daughter took his breath away.

"I …" she stammered, "I know I should have called first, but I wasn't exactly sure that I'd be able to make myself come and …"

"No. No it's fine. You don't have to call. You're welcome anytime. Come in. Please." The words felt awkward and stilted as he gestured her into the room. He could hear his heart pounding inside his head and stared down at his legs, willing them to move even as they felt like lead beneath him. "Is everything alright?"

"What do you mean?" She looked back at him as she settled the carrier into the oversized chair in the corner. Libby was content for the moment, her eyes wide as she took in the new surroundings and suckled on the pacifier in her mouth.

"I just mean I didn't expect to see you here, so I wanted to make sure that everything was okay with …" He let his hand move towards Libby, his eyes now focused completely on her. How had he not seen himself in her? The nose that reminded him so much of Delia's when she was a baby, the dark hair, the eyes … She was so beautiful and he simply chalked that up to having a mother as gorgeous as Phyllis and he'd never even thought that … His eyes welled up with tears as he stared down at her and let his hand touch her arm. "She's okay, right?"

The crack in his voice as he asked the tentative question made her stop and stare and, as she studied the way he looked down at the little girl, his attention so completely consumed by her, she knew. "You already know, don't you?"

His eyes blinked to attention. "It's true, isn't it? She's mine? She's …" He looked back down at her, still in disbelief that he could have possibly had a hand in creating something so perfect. "She's ours?"

"Yes," she managed, her own voice barely audible as she watched the tears that now threatened to spill from his eyes. "She's yours. Libby is your daughter."


	10. Chapter 10

"She's …" He looked down at Libby again, her eyes still wide as she took in everything that surrounded her. Her behavior was all too poignant, the enormity of the moment seeming to have even stunned her into silence. "Can I …" He leaned down, moving to lift her from the cradle before stopping and looking back to Phyllis for approval.

Her own eyes were now filled with tears as she watched his hesitant moves. This was her fault. Libby was six months old and her father was still reluctant to reach for her. "Of course you can," she said softly. "I want you to. That's why I'm here. That's why I brought her here. I knew, as soon as I saw you, as soon as I saw the way you looked at her, I knew I had to tell you truth."

Libby settled into his arms, as content as she had been at Cuppa hours before. Her tiny hand find the unbuttoned collar of his shirt and began to pull at it gently as she studied him.

"It's like she knows," Phyllis sighed. "It's like she can sense that you're not a stranger. She normally screams when someone else holds her, but you … She can just tell that you …" Her voice faltered and she took a moment to compose herself before continuing. "I guess you could too."

"Well, it wasn't just me. I uh … I had some help and then I kind of put everything together."

"Some help? From who?"

"There was a waitress in the bar." He saw the surprise on her face and quickly added. "She didn't mean to say anything out of the way, but she just mentioned that Greg had been so great and that he'd been there during your entire pregnancy and that the two you had met at the hospital. She told me that he worked at your OB, so I knew that …" He watched her nod. "And then when I asked how long you'd been married because I thought Libby looked so much younger, she told me that …" His arms wrapped a little tighter around the baby girl as he felt the fear grip his heart. "She said she'd been sick."

It was exhausting, even the thought of it and she found herself moving to sit on the edge of the bed as she watched Billy carefully remove the carrier from the chair and settle into it with Libby. "There's a lot that you don't know," she said quietly.

"Why is that?" He tried to keep any hint of anger out of his voice. The gratitude he felt holding the little girl made anything sort of overwhelming love quickly dissipate.

She averted her eyes, feeling the weight of the question as it hit her hard. He'd already been more understanding than she deserved and still she felt such all encompassing guilt. "I know you probably will never understand, but …"

"I'll try. I promise you. I'll try, but I just need you to tell me why you didn't tell me that I had a daughter. No matter what kinds of horrible things I did, I would hope that you'd know I would never hurt my child. Even now, even without knowing her, I would do anything for her and for you. I hope you know that. I …"

"That's not why, Billy. I do know that. What happened with us wasn't the reason …" She stopped. That wasn't entirely true. "Well, it wasn't the main reason. I couldn't handle being in Genoa City and seeing you and watching you with Victoria. I couldn't be there and try to live a life without you because I knew how miserable I would be, so I left. I left and I thought maybe I could try to find something new, something fresh, something that was totally separate from everyone and everything I knew in Genoa City."

"And then …"

She nodded. "And then I found out I was pregnant."

"So why not call me? Why not call me and tell me? You had to know that I would be there. You had to know that I would want to be involved." The words came out a little more forceful than he intended, and their impact was obvious in Phyllis eyes.

"I did know that, but …" That time had been impossibly difficult and even the memories were almost unbearable to recall. She could still remember how many times she'd come so close to calling him, to telling him the truth, to going back to Genoa City, and then she'd had another doctor's appointment … it was supposed to just be routine, but... "I didn't know I was pregnant for a while," she admitted. "I thought it was just stress. After everything that happened with my last pregnancy with Nick, they told me that it would be virtually impossible for …" Her voice trailed off as she let the memories filter through her brain. "Anyway, when I actually did find out, they immediately sent me to one of those high risk clinics and I had all these tests and they called me back and told me they were some issues and …"

The sound of her voice faltering made his own resolve break and he stood, his arms still wrapped around Libby, as he moved to sit beside her on the edge of the bed. "Hey," he said quietly, "It's okay. She's okay and everything worked out, right?"

Tears were streaming down her face now, but one look at the baby girl beside her made her smile. "Yeah," she sighed, reaching out and touching a pinkened cheek. "Yeah, everything is okay now except I still need you to understand." Her shoulders rose and fell with one more deep sigh before she continued. "I found out that Libby had a heart defect and they weren't sure how serious it was going to be. Some babies are born and they are able to heal on their own and some need surgery after surgery after surgery and then there are others that …" She shook her head. "They couldn't be sure, but they were afraid, by the way the scans looked, that she might have a very serious problem and I …" She felt her throat threaten to close again, but she willed herself to continue.

"I knew how much losing Delia still haunted you, Billy. I knew how much her death broke you and I couldn't stand the thought of telling you about a baby only to have her … only to have you …" Her voice finally betrayed as her eyes fell on Libby again. Remembering those moments, the fear of losing her daughter had been so real and now, to know that she was okay, that she was healthy. The tears were gratitude, relief, guilt, and joy all rolled into one strange rush of emotions.

He shifted Libby across his lap, and reached out with his free arm. "Come here," he whispered.

She shifted her body closer to him, not thinking about anyone or anything in this moment except being close to him, as close as she'd wished she could have been during those horrific days so many months ago. "I'm so sorry, Billy," she managed, her tone still shaky. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you had to go through all this alone." He stopped then, his hand that had been gently moving up and down her arm stilling suddenly. She wasn't alone. She had Greg.

His abrupt change wasn't missed and she had no doubt as to why. "Greg knows that I'm here," she said finally after the silence had settled for a few minutes. "He totally supports you being a part of Libby's life. He's a good man, Billy. He loves Libby and he loves me and he's been so fantastic to both of us. I would have never made it through this without him. He literally saved me. He saved both of us."

Billy nodded. "Then I'm grateful. I'm grateful that you have someone that like that in your life." He straightened and let his arm fall away from her, moving to pull Libby closer against his body. "You uh … you said that some babies had to have surgeries and the woman at Cuppa said that Libby had been in the hospital and …"

Phyllis shook her head. "She had lots of surgeries. We spent a lot of time in and out of the hospitals, but the last surgery should be it. They said everything looks great and she shouldn't have any more problems. She has to have regular checkups and she'll take a medication, but other than that, she'll live a perfectly normal healthy life."

"That's great." He beamed as he looked down at the little girl. "I .. I still can't quite believe it."

"I know," she whispered. "I have a hard time believing it too. I just stare at her in her crib sometimes and think, 'How did I get this lucky?'"

"I think you paid your dues," he said quietly. "It sounds like you went through hell and I'm sorry that I couldn't be here for you."

"How could you? You had no idea, but like you said, it all worked out and now you know. You know that you're this little girl's father and I want so much for you to be in her life."

"_Her _life?" He repeated the words as he met her gaze. "Not yours?"

"Billy," she said softly. "I … Greg and I … He was so incredible to me during all of this and I love him. I really do. And he loves me and Libby and he's wonderful to us. He'd do anything in the world for us and he's so good. He's a good man. You would really like him if you got to know him and I'd actually really love it if you would. If we could all just sit down and maybe …"

Libby began to fuss slightly. He glanced down at her, before looking over at Phyllis. "You should probably take her. I think she wants her Mom."

"She's probably hungry. She's quite the eater, trying to make up for lost time, I guess." She smiled as she reached for the baby. "I hate to take her away from you. It feels wrong, like you just got her back."

"It's okay," he smiled. "I'm not going anywhere. There's nothing more important to me than getting to know my daughter. We'll work this out, however we need to. They'll be plenty of other times for me to be with her. Besides, the temperature is supposed to drop tonight and I don't want you getting caught in any bad weather. You should probably get back."

"We'll be fine. You don't have to worry about us." She smiled as Billy held the carrier for her strap in Libby. "Thanks," she whispered.

"I can drive you if you want."

"I'm fine. Really. We'll be okay. I'll call you really soon or you can call me. We'll set something up so you can come see Libby or I can bring her here or …"

"Yeah, we will. I'll see you soon." He felt his breath catch as he watched her cross the threshold. The elevator door opened and she stepped inside, flashing a sweet smile at him and lifting Libby to give him another quick look at his daughter before the doors closed. He swallowed hard as the tears burned his eyes. He had just watched the doors close on his entire life.


	11. Chapter 11

Greg rushed to the door as soon as he heard the sound of the car in the driveway. "I was getting worried," he said softly as he took the carrier from her hands and watched as she removed her coat.

"Sorry." She reached for Libby, happy to see she was still awake. The last thing she needed was for her to take a nap this late and be up all night. "I should have called you and let you know that it was taking longer than I expected."

"No. I didn't expect that. It's just I know the weather was supposed to get a little dicey and …" He stopped himself. "Anyway, it doesn't matter, you're home now." He tried to study her face, her expressions were a mish mash of emotions that were difficult to distinguish. "I want to ask how it went, but if you don't want to talk about it right now then …"

"Of course you should know. Just maybe let me feed her and then maybe you could call out for something for dinner?"

"Yeah. That sounds great. You go get her settled and I'll get us some food and maybe we can talk over dinner." He leaned in for a quick kiss, the tension in her body impossible to miss.

"Ok." She pulled back, her lips brandishing a tense grin. "I'll be down in a bit." Her feet moved quickly up the steps, her body barely making it through the doorway of the nursery before she felt the first tear fall. Looking down at Libby now and staring into her wide eyes, it was as if she was looking directly into his. The events of the evening seemed to crash down around her now. Greg was a wonderful man and she did love him but, at the end of the day, he wasn't Billy.

* * *

He gripped the phone tight in his hand as tightly as he could as he waited to hear the voice on the other end of the line. "Hey," he breathed, the familiar voice finally echoing over. "Hope I didn't catch you in the middle of something."

"No." Jack pushed away from the laptop and let his back rest against the sofa. "It's fine. How's Boston?"

"It's fine. Listen, I just wanted to call and let you know that my plans here are kind of up in the air as far as a timeline and when I might be able to leave or come back to Genoa City, so if you need to get someone else to handle things then …"

"Woah. Woah." Jack stopped him, butting in a soon as his brother paused for breath. "What are you talking about? I thought we'd sorted out the plans. You were going to check on the Jabotiques in Boston and then you were going to head to the New York divisions and …"

"That's why I'm calling you, Jack." He cut him off, his tone shorter than he intended. "Plans change. I'm not going to be able to handle the things the way that we initially planned. Something has come up and …"

"Billy …"

The concern in his brother's voice was palpable.

Jack continued. "What's going on? I thought we talked about this. I thought you insisted that going away was a good thing." Jack sighed heavily. "This is exactly what I was afraid of. I was worried that as soon as you got away from your family and your support system and the consistency and routine that you'd created here that you'd backslide and …"

"That's not what this is. I didn't fall off the wagon. I'm not drunk or in the midst of some gambling binge. I'm stone cold sober and I haven't seen a deck of cards in months." He paused as he thought a moment. "But I guess, in a way, you could say I won big."

"I'm afraid to even ask what that means."

"Then don't Jack." Billy leaned back in the chair, the fact that his brother still had so little faith in him was daunting. He felt the tension and stress in his neck and shoulders and he slowly moved his neck from side to side.

"You know I have to ask, Billy. I worry about you. I care about what happens to you. I just hope you aren't doing anything that's going to undo all hard work you've done here. I need you here. Jabot needs you. Your family needs you."

The breath he'd been holding escaped his lips in an audible puff.

"What was that for?" Jack said quickly. Hearing silence, he prodded again. "Billy, I thought we'd worked through this. I thought you believed how much the whole family is behind you. I thought you believed how much we love you and how much we support you and that we all just want …"

"I do believe that, Jack. It's just that I have a different definition of family now." He had to tell someone. It was too monumental to process on his own. "Jack, if I tell you something, will you keep it to yourself?"

"I," he hesitated, "I'd love to be able to promise you that, but given the things that have happened, I …"

"It's nothing like that. It's not anything bad. It's goods news. It's amazing news. I have a daughter, Jack. A little girl."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Phyllis. She's here. In Boston. And she has a daughter. My daughter. Her name is Libby and she's six months old."

"Phyllis? Phyllis had a baby? Your baby? Are the two of you together? Are you …"

"No." The answer brought a twinge of sadness as he said it. "She's married. Her husband seems to be a good guy and he really loves Libby and Phyllis seems to really love him, so we're going to work something out. That's why I called to tell you that I'm not sure what my plans are. I've got sit down and figure out all this with Phyllis because I don't know what to expect …"

"I do," Jack said succinctly. "It's going to be an absolute disaster."

* * *

"And that's the way you left it?" Greg looked at her over his wine glass.

"Yeah. I mean Billy and I understand each other. He was actually more gracious about the whole thing than I ever could have imagined and maybe it'll hit him later. He might be angry after it hits him that he's missed out on so much, but right now he just seems to be so grateful that she's healthy and happy and …"

"Well, you always said he was a good guy, right?"

Phyllis nodded. "He is. He's a really good guy and he's a great father. He's so good with his kids. He would walk through fire for Katie and Johnny and I know he feels the same way about Libby."

"So do I," he whispered.

"I know you do." She slid her hand across the table to touch his. "And I told him that. I know that Billy isn't trying to take your place. I know he wouldn't want to do that. He even said that he was grateful to you for having been there for us and I told him that I was hoping we could all get together and talk. I'd like us all to be friendly. I know that sounds impossibly optimistic, but …"

Greg smiled. "I'd do anything for you. You know that, right?"

She couldn't help but smile when he looked at her that way. "I do know that. You've always put me and Libby first. I've always known that what we needed was the most important thing in the world to you."

"It is. Now and forever. And that's why I need to ask you this. I have to ask you, are you sure that you can still be here with me in this house, in this family with Libby?"

She paused, his question taking her off guard. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you just came from spending time with a man that I know you love and I need to know how it made you feel to be that close to him again. Not only do you still have feelings for him, but now he knows that the two of you share a child. That bonds people and there's no way that you can tell me that this hasn't brought up some old feelings. So, I'm asking you … are you sure that you don't want to give it another try with Billy?"

"Billy and I don't work," she said quickly. "We hurt each other. We break each other and I can't do that anymore. Because it's not just about us. It's about Libby and I won't do that to her. I do love Billy because he gave me Libby, but I love you Greg. I love our life and I love our family and I love that you love me and Libby so much. I couldn't ask for anything more than that." She watched as he stood and walked over to her. His arms wrapped around her as she whispered. "I don't deserve you," she whispered.

"Yes you do," he said softly. "You deserve everything and I'm going to do everything in my power to make you happy."


	12. Chapter 12

He stared up from his bed, trying to focus on the design of the crisp, tray ceiling as he willed his eyes to close. Still, the words from his brother echoed in his mind and every second he forced his eyes to close, he found himself hearing them over and over again like some sort of deranged mantra.

_"I'm telling you, Billy. I'm just saying that I've been the husband in this situation and it's not a great place to be. You and Phyllis have your issues right now, but I think you and I both know there are still feelings there and now there's a baby involved which means those feelings are only going to get stronger. There's no way this is not going to get ugly for everyone involved." _

_"It's not Jack. It can't. I don't want to hurt her any more than I already have. I don't want to mess up her life and she's happy here. She told me that right to my face and she's got a man that loves her and wants to be here for her and for my daughter. Why would I try to mess that up for her?" _

_"Because you love her and because love doesn't think or act rationally. Mark my words brother. If you keep going down this path, it's just going to get messy for all of you and now, you've got a baby girl that's going to be smack dab in the middle of it." _

The sound of the city streets echoed through the window pane as he swung his legs off the side of the bed. Sleep was clearly not in the cards for him tonight. Street lamps and headlights seemed to come from every direction when he pulled the curtain aside and looked into the darkness outside. He wanted to believe that Jack was wrong. He needed to trust that he and Phyllis and Greg could put aside their own needs and wants for Libby's sake. But he also remembered how it had felt to see her again for the first time – even before knowing about Libby, the feeling that surged through him with the simply sound of her voice. To say that he missed her wouldn't even begin to describe it. He ached for her. His entire existence had seemed empty, lifeless, hopeless. With one look … she gave him purpose again and now she had given him even more. He had a daughter, a little girl that he could watch grow up and that was something he'd only dreamed of.

Jack was wrong. He loved Libby enough to put her happiness first. He loved Phyllis enough to put her happiness first and as long as he knew that she was where she wanted to be, he could respect that. He could and he would. She said she was happy. It wasn't about what he wanted anymore. It couldn't be.

* * *

His eyes opened slowly as his hand ran down the cool bedsheet where her body had been. "Phyllis?" he whispered. She had fallen asleep in his arms mere hours ago and now, she was missing from their bed. He could tell the conversation with Billy had been hard on her and, even though she'd been perfectly willing to answer all of his questions, it had been obvious that she was shielding him from the subtleties of their interaction.

Slowly he stood, the hardwood floor cool on his bare feet. If he were guessing, he'd find her in Libby's room. Her greatest comfort was watching their daughter sleep. He stopped suddenly as he reached the doorway, the irony of that thought now hitting him. Libby wasn't _their_ daughter at all.

The nursery door was silent as he pushed it open ever so slightly. Libby lay sleeping in her crib, but Phyllis, much to his surprise, was nowhere to be found. As he backed out of the room, he noticed the soft light filtering out from the guest room. The room itself was empty but the closet, the one they used for storage wasn't. He could see her sitting there, a large cardboard box in her lap. Her shoulders shook slightly and it was clear that she was crying. On any other day, at any other moment, he would have approached her and tried to comfort her but tonight, in this moment, it almost felt as if he would have been encroaching on a very personal moment. A moment of which he was not a part.

Carefully and quietly, he moved back to their bedroom. She could be looking at anything, he thought to himself, but …

"Hey." Her shadow passed along the bedroom wall as she slowly passed through the threshold. "I thought I heard you up."

"Yeah." The tear stains that streaked down her face were barely visible in the soft light, but he knew now that they were there. "I uh … I wanted to check on Libby. When I saw that you were up, I figured maybe she was having a rough night and …"

"Oh. No. She's not. I'm actually having some trouble sleeping myself. I just went downstairs to make some tea and …" She paused. "Sorry if I woke you."

"No. You didn't. I just missed you next to me. That's all." His hand brushed across her empty side of the bed. "I like having you next to me."

"It's where I belong." She smiled as she climbed back into the bed and snuggled up beside him.

He closed his eyes as he felt her body next to his. "What about your tea?" he asked quietly.

"My what?"

"Your tea." Calling her on her lie really didn't make anything better. He knew this wasn't about keeping secrets. It was more about sparing feelings, but it still didn't make him feel better. He needed to get into that closet, to see what was in the box even though he was almost certain he already knew.

"Oh, right. That. I never actually got to even put the pot on. I heard you and I wanted to make sure Libby wasn't up. I know it's about time for her eat and … Well, you're missing some vital parts." She laughed, trying to lighten the slightly strained mood.

"Well, I'm just glad you're back. It's not the same when you're not here." He pulled her tighter against him and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Everything's better when I'm with you."


	13. Chapter 13

"Mmmm…Hello." He was barely awake as he managed to mumble the words into the phone receiver.

"Mr. Abbott?" A professional male voice rang out through the headset and the perky tone made him pull the phone away from his ear.

"Yes." Billy sat up straighter in bed, glancing at the clock in surprise as he realized he'd actually managed to drift off to sleep. Still, it was barely 6 am and he was hard pressed to figure out why anyone from the hotel would be calling his room at this hour. "This is Billy Abbott."

"I'm very sorry to disturb you Mr. Abbott, but you have a visitor here. We have security posted at the elevators until 7 am and unless you're a guest or you have an authorized room key, we…"

He immediately thought of Phyllis and his heart began to thud in his chest. What if something was wrong? What if she tried to call his cell and he'd missed it. He glanced around the room, his eyes scanning the dresser to see where his phone lay. "It's alright," he said quickly. "Send her up. She's authorized."

"It's not a woman. It's …"

He heard the man pause before his voice came back over the phone. "He says his name is Greg."

Billy stopped, immediately standing and reaching for the closest clothes he could find. "It's fine," he said quickly. "Send him up."

* * *

"Good morning, sweet girl." She smiled as she looked down at Libby's alert face peering out through the crib rails. "You ready to start the day?" It was a comfort to hold her daughter in her arms and hear the sweet babbling sounds as she walked down the stairs into the kitchen. This morning it had been her turn to wake to an empty bed. She had found a hastily scribbled note on the nightstand. _Had to run out for a few. Be back soon. Love you, Greg._ It wasn't like him to take off like this, especially without waking her. Logically, she could reason with herself that he was trying to let her sleep, aware that last night had been difficult for her, but the nagging suspicion still existed.

Last night, she'd found herself unable to sleep even in the comfort of his arms. She'd finally relented and gotten out of bed and eventually she'd found herself in the one place she'd managed to keep from going for months. The guest room closet was where they kept everything that didn't have a place, in the house and in their current lives. They had put the duplicates of the wedding gifts they received there. There were baby clothes that had been given as showers gifts that Libby still couldn't fit into and then there were more mundane items – boxes of files, taxes, medical bills, and other important documents.

And then there was another box, a small shoebox that sat at the very back of the darkest corner. It held other things, things far more removed from the life she now led. And that was where she'd found herself last night – sitting in the closet, her heart and mind fully entrenched in a life she'd left back in Genoa City many months ago.

* * *

"Greg." He opened the door and looked at the man that stood in front of him. There was something different about him today. It wasn't the same confident, businessman that had joined them at Cuppa for lunch. Greg was wearing jeans and a casual polo. His light jacket was unzipped and he had what appeared to be a shoebox clutched under his arm.

"Morning," he said with a quick nod of his head. "I'm sorry to just stop by like this, but I felt like I needed to see you and I wanted to come by before Phyllis woke up. I felt like it was important that the two of us talk."

Billy nodded. He knew what this would be about. "Look Greg. I get why you feel like you need to be here, but really you don't. Phyllis was very clear about where things stand and she was even more clear about what she wanted. She told me how much she loves you and how happy you make her and …"

"Yeah, I talked to Phyllis too. She told me the same thing, but I still feel like we need to talk because I need to give you something and I hope it's something you'll appreciate this time."

Something about his tone of voice made it obvious that this was a conversation they needed to have and Billy took a step back and gestured for him to step into the room. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, but …" As he turned back to face him, he saw the box held out towards him. "What's this?"

Greg held it out further. "I think once you open it, you'll know exactly what it is. Go ahead."

He took the box and slowly lifted the lid. The room was quiet as he spent several moments letting the memories wash over him. "What is this? Where did you …"

"Last night after Phyllis got home …" He shook his head in disbelief, still trying to comprehend how he'd allowed himself to believe the words she'd said to him. "We talked about what happened when she came here yesterday and I asked her … I came right out and asked her, if she was sure that a life with me was what she wanted and she said yes. She told me that she loved our life together and that she wanted our home and our family."

"She told me the same thing. I don't know what you think happened here, but Greg it …"

"It's not about what happened here," he said. "It's about what happened last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and she wasn't in bed. You know where she was? She was sitting in the middle of the closet in the guest room and she was holding this box. She was crying. My wife was crying and I couldn't comfort her because I knew in my heart that there was nothing I could say or do to make it better. You're the only one that can do that."

"I'm not the one she wants Greg. She told me that. She said outright that she loves you and …"

"What she says doesn't matter. It's about what she does. It's about how she feels and I can't sit back and let her be kind of happy. She's always been honest about how she felt about you. When she told me about the pregnancy and about how it happened, she was very honest about the fact that she would always love Libby's father. She didn't tell me much about you at all and I always thought that it was because of how badly things had ended with the two of you. Even though she didn't give details, she did say that the two of you hurt each other badly and I thought that talking about you was just too painful but now, seeing her with you, watching the way she looks at you, watching the pain on her face when she's not with you, I see it so clearly. I see that the reason she didn't talk about you was because it hurt her too much to remember you, to think about you, and to constantly reiterate the fact that her life didn't have you in it."

Greg stared at him as he watched the expression on his face change. "So I came here today to tell you that I want you to go and tell her how you feel." He held up his hand as he saw Billy's mouth begin to open. "And don't bother telling me that you don't feel the same way she does because I saw you too. I saw the way you looked at her and I saw your face when you opened that box. You love her and you want to be with her and you should." He forced himself to continue even as the next words nearly broke him. "Libby deserves to have …"

"You really do love them, don't you?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I didn't think I'd ever get married, but then I met Phyllis and I just couldn't imagine not having her in my life."

Billy nodded. "I know what you mean."

"And then Libby. It's not possible to see that little face and not fall in love with her. Phyllis and Libby are my whole world. I love them more than my own life and I love them enough to want them to be happy, even if that happiness doesn't involve me."


	14. Chapter 14

Phyllis glanced over at Libby's contented face as she bounced in her bouncy seat. The sound of Greg's car in the driveway made her heart beat a little faster. It was so strange for him to rush out like that in the morning. She heard the front door close and held her breath as she waited for him to enter the kitchen.

"Hey." His voice was soft and warm just as it always was. He smiled at her before walking over to Libby and gently lifting her into his arms.

"I'm so glad you're back," she said quietly. "I was getting worried."

"Didn't you get my note?" he asked as he pressed his lips to Libby's tiny hand.

"Yeah, but it's just not like you to rush out so early without saying goodbye, unless it's something really important."

"It was." Greg looked at her for a moment before speaking again. Part of him thought he must be crazy to give this up, to willingly walk away from this beautiful family he'd created. But the other part of him knew what she wanted and what she needed even if she couldn't or wouldn't admit it herself.

And Libby – as much as he loved her, it was hard to even look at her now without seeing the face of the man he'd been looking at mere moments ago. She deserved to know her father. She deserved to have that family. She deserved to see her mother be with someone she loved in a way he wasn't sure she could ever love him.

"You want to sit down?" He gestured towards the living room as the feeling of dread threatened to overwhelm him.

"Wait." She reached for his arm. The air in the room had a strange, strained energy. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt that way with him. "Greg, you're scaring me. Is everything okay?"

He took her hand in his and squeezed it. "It will be. Just sit down with me, okay?"

She sat down on the sofa beside him and watched as Libby happily snuggled against his chest. "Okay." Her voice was tentative. "I'm sitting now. She tried to smile in an attempt to lighten the strange mood.

"You know how much I love you, right? How much you and Libby mean to me? And you know that this family is the most important thing to me? I need you to know that."

"I do know that. I've always known that and it means so much to me that you've always been willing to sacrifice so much for me and Libby to …"

"It was never a sacrifice to be with you. I never felt like I gave up anything because I got so much when you came into my life. I have never loved anyone like I love you. You and Libby are more important to me than everything, than anything and your happiness is the only thing that really matters."

"I am happy. You've always made me happy. But you're scaring me now. What's going on? Have I done something to make you think that I don't believe in us or …"

"No." He reached out to touch her face, hating to see the confusion in her eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong. You were always honest with me. I always knew. I just never expected …"

"Where were you this morning, Greg? Where did you go?"

He looked down at the little girl again, her dark eyes staring back at him. "I went to see Billy," he admitted.

"Greg," she sighed. "I told you I didn't …"

"I know what you said and I know that you want to believe every word you say to me is the truth, but I know you. I see your face and your eyes and I know that you can say all the words in the world but it can't change how you feel."

"I told you how I feel. Do I care about Billy? Yes. Of course I do. We have a daughter together and I'm always going to have some feelings for him because of that, but …"

"You weren't looking at Libby last night."

She stopped short. His words surprised her. "What?"

"Last night when I woke up and you weren't in bed, I went to look in Libby's room because I thought maybe you were checking on her but you weren't there. You were in the guest room, in the closet."

She felt her throat tighten as she forced the words from her mouth. "You didn't say anything," she whispered. "Why?"

"It seemed like a private moment." He lowered his head to rest against Libby's and then looked back towards her. "This morning I got up and looked at that box and I knew then. I knew there was no way you'd ever be able to be happy with me, not the way you were with him."

She started to speak but he stopped her.

"No. Don't. I'm not blaming you. I'm not angry with you. This isn't your fault. I looked at the pictures. I saw the look on your face. I saw the happiness in your eyes and it was never like that with me. You never looked at me the way you were looking at him."

"I don't …" she stammered. "I don't know what you want me to say."

He shook his head. "Nothing. I don't want you to say anything. I meant what I said. I'm not blaming you. It just is what it is. I can't sit back and keep you from something that I know in my heart will make you happier than anything I could ever give you."

"What are you saying? You're leaving me and Libby? You're just walking out?"

"I'm letting you go. I'm letting you have the life you really want and I'm letting Libby have the family she deserves."

"You are the only father Libby has ever known. I couldn't ask for a better father for her. You've always been here for her and for me. We couldn't possibly deserve anything better than what we have with you." She jumped at the sound of the knock on the door and watched as Greg stood and passed Libby to her.

"I'll get it," he said quietly. He walked to the door and took a deep breath before pulling it open.

Billy's eyes widened at bit as he saw him. "I'm sorry," he muttered, taking a step back. "I thought you said you were going to come back and that you were leaving so I thought maybe she would need someone to …" He stopped and shook his head, ashamed of his lack of tact. "I'm sorry. I'll come back or have her call me or …" He winced again at his own words. "I'm sorry. Just forget that. I'll … I'll just go."

"Billy. Wait." Greg's voice stopped him. "It's good that you're here. I just told her and you're right to be here. She is going to need someone and that someone is you. You're the person she needs."

Billy stared for a moment. "Are you sure this is what you want? Are you even sure this is what she wants?"

Greg shook his head, having asked himself that question multiple times on the drive over. "I think she'll answer that question for you pretty quickly. The truth is, this isn't what I want. This is nowhere near what I want, but this isn't about me. This is about her and about Libby and about what's best for them. I love them more than I want anything else, so if you'll just give a minute, I'll be out of your way."

"Greg. You're not … You don't have to rush this. I don't need to be here."

"It's just going to make it harder, man. Just wait a minute, please."

Billy nodded as the door closed.

Greg turned to see her standing there, her eyes wide and filled with tears as she stared at him. "I don't understand this," she said with a shaky voice.

He reached for her and pulled her closer to him. Libby's face turned to stare up towards her. Her dark eyes followed him as if even she understood the magnitude of what was happening. "I love you so much," he whispered, "And I need to know that your life is filled with the same all consuming, overwhelming love that you and Libby have filled my life with. I need to know that even if that can't happen while you're here with me."

"But it can, Greg. I love you. Libby loves you."

He touched his fingertips to her lips to stop her words and leaned in to kiss her softly. "Someone's here to see you," he managed through a hoarse voice. He reached for Libby's hand and kissed it before stepping away. "I'm gonna let him in now."

Billy looked up as he saw the door open again. Greg paused as he stood in front of hm. "I don't know all the details of what all went on between the two of you before," Greg said, "but I know what I'm giving up and I hope to God you appreciate her this time because if you ever do anything to hurt …"

"Never." Billy said the words quickly. He'd never felt more certain of anything in his life. "I can promise you that. I know what it's like to live without her and I will never do anything to mess this up again."

"Good." Greg nodded. "Just take care of her. Take care of both of them."

"I will. I promise."

Greg moved to walk away, not entirely sure of where he was heading. Billy's voice surprised him as it rang out through the now silent air.

"Greg?" he called. "Thank you for taking care of them when I couldn't. I'll never forget that."

He kept his back turned to him, letting the words wash over him for a moment before he composed himself enough to respond. "Neither will I," he managed.


	15. Chapter 15

"Greg?" She turned towards the door as she heard it open and close again. "Are you?" The words seemed evaporate as she watched him step into the room. It was a strange sort of feeling, a mix of incredible loss and unspeakable joy. "Billy," she breathed shakily, "It's you." Libby batted her feet against her sides, as she babbled happily.

"Yeah." He walked over to her and reached for Libby who happily craned towards him. It felt as natural as anything ever had to hold her in his arms and he pressed his lips to her forehead as he cradled her against his chest. "Hi there," he whispered as he swayed gently back at forth. "I'm gonna love getting to know you." He heard the shake of breath again and looked up at Phyllis. "I promise I'll be here. I'll be the best father for her."

She nodded as she struggled to keep the tears from overtaking her. "I know you will. I never doubted that you would. That was never what any of this was about. I just … I had kept it from you for too long and I was afraid that you would hate me and I was …"

"Hate you?" He reached out to brush the tears away from her cheek, his mind flashing back to the first time he'd done it, all those years ago. He could still feel the warmth of the fire and hear the storm raging outside. They'd both declared it to have been a mistake when their lips met for the first time, but neither of them had been able to forget it. And now, all these years later, no matter what had happened between them, no matter what they said, no matter how they hurt each other, he still wanted to wipe away every tear, heal every hurt. "I could never ever hate you," he said softly. "I wish I could promise you that I would never hurt you again, but the truth is I probably will. We'll hurt each other because we're stupid and reckless and self destructive but, at the end of the day, I can promise that I'll never let us go again. I've seen my life without you and I'll never go there again."

Her hand trembled as she reached up to lightly stroke Libby's back. "Billy," she sighed, "I want to believe you. I really want to believe you, but …"

"I know. I know it's hard to believe anything I say because I've given you a million reasons to doubt me. I've lied and I've cheated and I've destroyed any trust you had in me while I was destroying myself, so I'm not going to ask you to believe in me. I'm going to ask you to give me a chance to prove it. Give me a chance to show you that you and Libby are more important to me than anything else in the world. Give me a chance to show you that I love you more now than I loved you the first time I said the words to you." He looked at her, his eyes searching her expression for any sign that might be considering his earnest plea. "Do you remember that?"

"Of course I do," she whispered, her eyes closing. "I remember everything about us."

"I know you probably wish you didn't sometimes."

"No." The word came from her lips quickly. "I never wanted to forget anything, not one second about my life with you. Yes, you hurt me. I hurt you. We hurt each other, but we were only able to do that – hurt each other that badly because of how much we loved each other and I would never want to forget someone that I had that kind of connection with. For every painful memory I have, I have ten more amazing moments. For every hateful word we said, there are so many times that you told me how much you loved me, how much you loved the real me, the me that so many people in my life had tried to change."

"Those weren't just words you know." He used his hand to gently lead her over to sofa as he sat down next to her and smiled as Libby contentedly let her head rest against his shoulder. "I love everything about you. You never have to be anything other than the amazing woman that you are when you're with me. That's why we worked. There weren't requirements. I could be me and you could be you and we loved each other. It was simple. It was real. And it still is. I can look at you now and know that there is nothing in this entire world that I love more than I love you …" Libby's tiny coo made him laugh gently. "Well," he smiled as he glanced down at her. "We'll call it a tie, okay?"

"Greg knew," she said after a moment of silence. "He knew from the moment he saw you. He said I'd never looked at him the way I looked at you. At first I tried to convince myself that it was just because of Libby and because I wanted so much for you to be a part of her life, but then that night, I started thinking about us and about …"

"I can't believe you kept all those things," he said quietly. He saw the surprised look on her face. "Greg told me about the box. He brought it with him when he came to see me. He wanted me to understand how he knew what had to be done."

"I kept telling myself I should throw it away," she admitted. "I even walked to the bin with it a few times, but it felt like I was throwing away a part of myself and then I started thinking about Libby and about the fact that she would want to know about us some day, about her parents, about the fact that we love each other, that she wasn't the product of some fling."

"Love?" In everything she'd said, it was the one thing he'd honed in on. She could have spoken of her feelings in the past. She could have professed their relationship to be a fond memory, but instead she'd used the word love – as if was something she felt – even now. And with that one simple utterance, his hope was spurred. "You said love."

It was something about the light in his eyes as he said the words, the look of total sincerity as he looked at her and cradled their baby daughter. "Yeah," she said, "I did. God help me Billy Abbott, I do love you."

He felt the immediate rush of tears to his eyes but forced himself to hold back. His hand reached for her face and he smiled gratefully when she didn't pull away. "I love you too and I love this little girl and the only thing I want in this world is to prove to you how much. I know I don't deserve it, but …" He watched as he heard fell a bit and, for a moment, his heart fell with it.

"Nobody deserves it," she answered. "God knows I don't deserve to have this little girl after everything I've done, but here she is and here we are and maybe that's because this is the way it's supposed to be. It's messy and it's ugly and it's complicated, but it feels right … more right than anything else ever has."

"I'm trying really hard to get my hopes up because I'm not sure I could stand it if I was wrong but, that really sounds like a yes to me … is it? Are you saying that you'll let me back in your life? You and me and Libby, we can give this family thing a shot?"

She smiled as she felt him lean in closer to her. "Yes," she breathed, stopping him just before his lips met hers. "On one condition."

He breathed in deeply. "Name it. I'll do anything. Absolutely anything."

**8 months later**

"Billy!" She called down from the top of the stairs. "I think that's the doorbell. It's probably the food. Can you get it?"

"Sure." He smiled as he glanced down at the table. A year ago, this night would have been completely different. There would have been a fancy restaurant, flowers, and candles. They would have both been dressed to the nines and every move would have been carefully orchestrated. Tonight was nothing like that but the important parts were still there. "Thanks," he smiled as he reached for the bags. "Looks perfect." He surveyed the offerings in his hand and completed checklist as he placed the last remaining items onto the table. "Double chocolate brownies from Crimson lights." He whispered to the words to Libby as he knelt down to the floor to reach her level. "Mommy's favorite." He watched as the little girl stood to her feet and took the steps necessary to reach him. "That's my girl," he grinned. "You're getting good practice in for the big event." His arms wrapped around her and scooped her up. "You know I'm giving you the biggest job tonight, right?" He handed her the big red box on the table. "You gotta give the box to Mommy."

"Guess that means we've got company for dinner?" Phyllis's voice rang out from the staircase and he turned to see her descend. She wore a gray tank and yoga pants. Her hair was pulled up and she'd washed off her makeup. He wasn't sure if he'd ever seen her look so beautiful before.

"Yeah," he smiled. "She woke up a few minutes ago." He pointed to the wine bottle. "You want a glass?" He held it out towards her, curious if she'd recognize the label. The sparkle in her eyes gave him the answer.

"I didn't know we had any more of that," she smiled. "I thought we'd emptied that cellar years ago."

"We did," he admitted. "It took some work, but I found a couple cases at a vineyard in in California."

"California?" Her eyes widened as she took a drink and let her body snuggle against his on the sofa. "You went through a lot of trouble."

"Well it's a special night," he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"It is?"

"Every night with you and Libby is special." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Libby pick up the box and begin to toddle towards them. "No. No," he said with a quick nod of his head. "Not yet baby."

Libby was undeterred and continued to her approach. "Daddy," she said with a smile. "Daddy?"

He couldn't correct her again as he bright eyes and accomplished smile flashed back at him. "Thank you, sweet girl," he said.

"What's that?" She felt the quiver in her voice as she looked down at the box. It was large but she had a feeling.

"Why don't you open it and find out?"

His heart pounded inside his chest as he watched her shaky hands remove the top. Inside the large box was a small black velvet one and her eyes immediately glossed over with tears.

"Billy," she breathed as she looked up at him. "If there are diamond earrings in this, I'm going to be so pissed off at you."

He laughed as he reached inside and pulled out the box. "Don't worry." He opened the box to reveal the round vintage inspired diamond ring. "You like it?"

"I …" She felt the tears already spilling down her face despite her best efforts to stop them.

Libby's soft grunts distracted her as she struggled to climb onto the couch and wriggled into her mother's lap. "It's okay baby," she whispered as she hugged her tight. "It's beautiful," she managed finally. "I love it. I love you."

"Will you wear it?" He looked at her as she sat there with their daughter in her arms. It was everything he'd ever wanted and also everything he'd been afraid he'd never have.

"I don't think that's the right question," she laughed as he reached out to brush away the tears and felt Libby's little hand meet his.

He laughed softly. "You're right. That's not the right question." He looked down at Libby. "I promise to do everything I can not to make Mommy cry anymore … only happy tears. I want to us to be a family … all of us. Will you marry me?"

"Marriage hasn't exactly worked out too well for either of us, has it?" She saw the flash of concern in his eyes and quickly reached for his hand. "But maybe that was because it had never been right before. This time it is. This time we make it work because it's worth it, because we want it, because it's what this was all supposed to lead to."

"I think we can. I promise you I'll do everything in my power to make you happy … to make you both happy." He held the ring out towards her hand and watched as she let him slip it on her finger. "Is that …" His own voice went raspy as she nodded wordlessly and leaned in to kiss him.

"Yes," she managed as she finally pulled away. "In case you didn't get that, the answer is yes."

**The End**


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